(Because really now, he IS mad ater all).

I really have nothing to write about, but, I don't want to play with my prissy little dog. I have not a thing on my plate as we speak, yet, I remain with a heaping mound of something directly in front of my plate. The mound of course holds no form yet but it is to become the frame, the molding, the pieces of everything I do from this day forward. So what pray tell makes this mound start spitting out even an inkling of potential? Or is it just me? Does this all lean on my diving into the muck and sift all in my path to find that precious morsel? Probably. Spose I'm, too lazy, too ambitiousless to take that fateful step. Or is there a fateful step at all? Nothing is linear, at least in life, unless we try our darnest to make it so. Then do I feel like nothings changed for so long? Save for new friends and old friends left behind in their pile of garbage they drag around everywhere they go. I'm sure my questioning is for naught, for sure, I know the answer. Just go, just do what calls, or go to what doesn't. though it's strange, if we have free will, while God's will is overseeing the progress (or lack of) of our lives, doesn't he know what our next move is? The why ca't there be a go here sign? Haha, silly, I know, but I can't take a suggestion from my parent or friend as a sign that that is my intended path. I'm sure though that I just have to bloody well be ready for lots of failures going every which way I go, Because I am absolutely bound to do so. But then where do I go? I've but moderate passions that are as fleeting as my love for a given song. Once it's played out, it's hard to even bear. Even now, the fashion community disgusts me, I hate myself everytime I buy a brand name, especially for a substantial amount. I own a few items from Dior, and wish so much I never did, yet I won't sell them, because their my burden to bear now, and I don't like sharing my burdens. But the point is I may in a year have no interest in clothing at all, Or I may be a burning fanatic, and thats a large risk for anyone, I think. What would you do? What would be wise in this? I can't do everything I long to do for a living, time would not permit, Life would not permit. GAhhh. I just need a lucky break and then pour on some gasoline and wood. Oh the frustration, i's quite pathetic. And running away won't solve much I'm sure, unless I run down some path of blazing of my future. Or die, ha, that be uneventful. Somebody hold me to something! heh, whoever has read this far, I love you, your clearly mad, but in a most pleasant way. Besides you could never be as mad as I, though you may try. I spose I'll play with my dog now, after running in circles it seems appropriate to play with a dog. Ciao.